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“Those who wait for perfect weather will never plant seeds; those who look at every cloud will never harvest crops.” — Ecclesiastes 11:4

i love the wisdom in this verse–and it’s call to step out in faith. just because things aren’t perfect, doesn’t mean we should act. God may not open that door for us now, but by the time we get right up to it, if it’s His will, we must have faith that he will.

this verse speaks volumes to me, time and time again, season after season. the first time i read it and journaled about it was september 16, and i hadn’t lived here in Grand Rapids for a week even. i’d just started my new job the day before–and my world was feeling ever topsy-turvy. so this revelation, not to let worries or “not-so-great circumstances” hold me back from sowing and trust God for the reaping, was so of-the-moment. it was also early into my relationship with michael, and we’d been doing the long-distance thing for over a month. in so many ways i looked at my life and the incumbrances that seemed to loom all around me and this verse caused me to whisper over and over again: “keep sowing. keep trusting. persevere.”

and here i am, more than 6 months later. both of those situations still get to me: i have my hard, feeling-all-alone and desperate times here up in Michigan and i still miss Michael and wish we lived closer. but i’m glad i’ve stuck it out. God has done such great things in both of them. i’ve learned so much about Him and grown in such a relationship with Him through my starting-over process up here. it’s been a great catalyst for drawing me near. and i’ve learned so much about humility and selflessness in my relationship with Michael, which has had to mostly take place over the phone as we sort through issues and hardships and dreams and everything else.

so for now, i don’t know what the future holds. i’m trying to let go of that. i went for a walk today (it’s finally getting warm enough to make that bearable up here) and that was the thought pervading me: “i don’t care what happens next. i don’t want to rush God with this. i’m OK with whatever he’s got up his sleeve.” because I know Him, and i know that whatever he’s having me wait for is totally going to be worth it. there is going to be a harvest!

last week or so, i woke up two days in a row at 6:43am (sans alarm). i remember learning once that when a clock grabs your attention and it’s the same numbers, then that’s often God speaking to you, pointing you to a specific verse. now, if i new the Bible better, perhaps “6:43” would have instantaneously brought a verse to mind from memory. but having only google, here’s the verse I trust God was revealing:

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:43-45

i feel like (i hope!) that’s God revealing to me what he’s doing in my life, right now, as everything is in the midst of change: that it’s all good fruit.

then, yesterday on my lunch break, i read the next few verses of that chapter:

I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”
Luke 6:46-49

and that’s what this whole Grand Rapids move is all about: digging deep and laying foundations. because i know that i must do that if i want to stay firm and close to God as i get older and trials get harder and more real. and a month before, mallory’s sister had texted me psalm 91 about the same idea, dwelling in the house of the Lord and this next season of my life teaching me how to do that. i’m eager…

our little mariemont home is barely even a shell of the cute, brick townhouse it once was. where there used to be pretty pictures on the wall, there are just empty nail holes. where there once was a colorful rug, there are just crumbs on the floor.

tomorrow begins the move that takes me from my and Holly’s little storybook home back to the ‘burbs. part of me loves it and part of me hates it.

i love it because i know that this baby-step move is setting me up for something bigger. i’m in essence trying to “clear the decks”–basically clear every hurdle i possibly can so that God can work and I can follow with ease. i don’t have things like leases getting in the way. and even though I know that God can work around those things and make them work too, I also know I’m responsible for stepping out in faith and that’s what this is. i expect that he’s going to take me where he’s pointed. i just don’t know when. so i’m readying myself for that.

but i hate it because it’s so discouraging to pack everything up and go back to where i started from. part of me wonders why it was even worth it to move in the first place. but i know it was. i know i learned a lot and that it broadened me and positioned me for more. (besides, if i’d never moved to mariemont, then Sally and Robbie would have never met and fallen in love! mariemont dance party, represent.)

i guess now it’s time to collect those lessons and insights and replant them; take them with me as i go “home again” and see where they lead me now.

so until then, everything’s started to get stacked in cardboard boxes, labeled with papers that say things like “fragile! drinking glasses” and “tchotchkes and ceramics.” it’s funny to gather up all you own and fit it into boxes and see it all balanced one atop another. it really makes it all real…

p.s. tonight shane claiborne is in town speaking. come!

He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Ecclesiastes 3:11

it’s funny that so often i look to that as one of my favorite (and encouraging/comforting/hope-filled) verses, but how easily i forget the real meaning behind it–how easily i forget to really embrace and trust in it.

today, in the midst of packing up boxes and clearing off shelves, i was getting ready for work. i used to have a big decorative plate that i’d filled will my jewelry and had placed a little card with that verse on it in the middle of the beads and baubles. now, with the jewelry put away, all that remained was that little slip of paper.

and as i’ve been wondering and fretting and going back-and-forth about everything michigan related (timing, and so forth), i read that verse again with new eyes. and a breath of relief. “…in its time.”

it will all be OK. it will all be beautiful.

this is the last “installment” of the breathe book i read. it should be noted that the book is under the imprint of MOPS: Mothers of Pre-Schoolers (which I kind of find to be really funny). anyway, i didn’t know that when i bought it, but even though i don’t have any kids, it’s still a really good book and is full of ideas to keep in mind for the day when i actually do have kids.

she really stressed simplifying for our kids’ sakes so that we have time to invest in them and their development and help grow them into strong, intelligent adults rather than letting them too get hooked in society’s cycle of work-work-overwork. here are some of her ideas for raising kids with an eye to deliberateness:

  • the Bible says “Train up a child in the way he should go.” basically, children are like vines, we have to prune and direct them, but ultimately GOD has a purpose for them–not us–and we have to listen to THAT purpose: how he created them and lovingly direct their growth according to the gifts and abilities GOD placed in them.
  • create space in your calendar for days/times with no obligations, so they have time to play–unstructured activities where no adult is directing them. it’s important for them developmentally because it teaches them to direct themselves. that’s why so many kids say, “i’m bored!” they’re not used to entertaining themselves any more! instead, encourage them to solve their boredom for themselves. kids also gain more from spontaneous, imaginative play than from organized sports.
  • limit television, especially commercial television because ads create discontent.
  • limit the number of toys you buy because what they really want and need are our attention and affection. be generous with your time but be careful with how much stuff you throw at them
  • don’t operate out of fear about your children (comparing them with others’) and how denying them things will hurt them in the long run (that they won’t fit in, etc). so long as you’re providing them good things (time with God, time with the family, time to play and imagine and read and explore and learn), then how can you go wrong?
  • family meals are important because it’s there that you can have real-life (and lasting) conversations with them about things that matter: love, respect, family, the future, etc. it’s also where they learn how to carry on a conversation–something that’s losing practice today.

This weekend one of my bestest friends having just tied the knot this past weekend (and I got asked out on a date for the first time in almost a year, but it’s not what you think. Ask because it’s a rather pitiful—but entertaining—story…). So with seeing her get all fancied up for the big day and her text yesterday that said “We saw dolphins in the ocean today…I am having a great time with my husband,” let’s just say falling in love and weddings and marriage has been on the mind of late. (But, really, when is it not?)

Anyway you shouldn’t be surprised to hear that I read an article this week that talked about planning your wedding…alongside your soon-to-be-husband and how important it is to include him in that process, even though most guys say they want whatever you want. She brought up some good points about how it’s the first steps of decision-making together and teaches you about his likes/dislikes even before you start “forever” together. That’s something I’d like to replicate whenever my time comes, too.

Also, we recently wrapped up our latest book in my small group with Mal, Bri and Cathy. We read “Get Married” by Candice Watters which isn’t nearly as bad as the title makes it out to be. In fact, I fell in love with the book because she talks about that marriage is a gift God WANTS to give us (among other things: it models for us the relationship between Christ and the church and also teaches us crucial virtues like selflessness and putting others before our self). And so because God wants to give us, we should be bold to ask Him for it:

Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. . . . If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer” (Matthew 7:7–8, Matthew 21:22).

And: “You do not have, because you do not ask God.” (James 4:2)

She talks about not being ashamed of this (although of course with the caveat that to truly reap this gift you should aspire to marry not just anyone but the RIGHT person, which she then details, based on Biblical standards). It was a refreshing and encouraging look at something that people never really talk about. Which is why we are talking about it now. Along with a few other friends, we’ve started a prayer group called “Women Praying Boldly” which is something she suggests in the book, where you just make it a point to be praying for each other as we navigate these waters in our life. (Of course, life is more than just getting married, but that’s one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make so why WOULDN’T it be something that you’d invest a lot of time in and prayer and preparation for? Seriously. It’s a good thing.)

Here are some of the notes I took from this book:

  • if it’s true that God is all we need for fulfillment, no one was in better position to be fully satisfied than Adam, who was closest human to God until Jesus came. but even GOD said it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone–that man should not be alone….and that’s because man is created in God’s image, and God is a relational God. being alone contradicts God’s nature, which is why it “wasn’t good” for Adam to be alone.
  • in Hebrew tradition, God is often described as the great Shadchan or “marriage maker.”
  • many of the longings that are common to our generation (for friendship, wholeness, for a life that is serious and deep, for associations that are trustworthy and lasting) could be largely satisfied by marrying well. (note the imperative to make your choice intentionally–just any marriage won’t do)
  • through our faith we can believe that if we’re following the guidelines for what to pray for, we can ask boldly and believe that our prayers will be answered. it is worth the risk of disappointment to pray boldly.
  • live like you’re planning to marry: cultivate a lifestyle that is consistent with the season of marriage ahead, where you are responsible (your choices with your checkbook, calendar, media consumption and treatment of your own body–because they are not yours but God’s!), concerned with others (not just yourself), and nurturing the men and the community around you to play their roles so that you don’t have to carry it all.
  • to be feminine is to nurture, not merely respond. we can bring healing to the very men who need it so that they can be empowered to take more initiative.
  • The most likely way to find a future marriage partner is through introduction by family, friends or acquaintances. despite the romantic notion that people meet and fall in love through chance or fate, the evidence suggests that social networks (the old-fashioned kind) are important in bringing together individuals of similar interests/backgrounds. almost 60% of married people were introduced by family, friends, co-workers or other acquaintances.
  • do people in your life know you desire marriage? do they know the qualities you’re seeking in a husband? they might be willing accomplices in the search. also by talking about it with others, you can stand in the gap for each other. you can facilitate the courtship process and through self-disclosure, express your beliefs about marriage and courtship with your friends.
  • stop giving away pieces of your heart without being asked. start insisting that to gain intimacy, men must act honorably, state their intentions and initiate official relationships with the goal being marriage = GUARDING YOUR HEART

So it’s official: At the end of this month, I’m going to be moving back in with my parents. But you know, I’m actually psyched about it. For one, the main reason why I wanted to move out in the first place was just so that I could decorate on a large scale all by myself. I also hated all the driving I had to do to and fro for work and church and such. But besides that, my family is pretty great and understanding and if nothing else, quite entertaining. (My sister tells stories about old men returning condoms and KY Jelly to her Walgreens store because they didn’t enjoy “the experience;” my mom shares how she lured our runaway cat back indoors and how the other family cats responded; my dad shows me his latest WWII video…)

And especially if I’m going to be moving hours away in the coming months, I’d like to have this time with them.

But something makes me wonder whether I’ll even get that time. I wonder if I won’t be whisked off earlier than I’d thought? And that really scares me. Now that many of the systems’ kinks are worked out, I want to stay put just a little bit longer, enjoy the downtime just a little longer, save money just a little bit longer, hang out with my friends just a little bit longer.

So the idea of this job option working out does make me nervous that I’m going to have to start over sooner than I’d expected, although I’ve always had a feeling that it was going to happen July-ish. I just don’t feel ready for that now that it’s getting close!

Anyway, I know that’s out of my hands and when the right time comes, it will all work out so long as I stay to the course that God has planned. And I know that when that happens, the course is going to be more amazing and gratifying than I could imagine—look at where it’s taken me thus far?!

On a side note, I read an article the other day about living at home with your family and the (unexpected) benefits it provides, such as keeping you from being too selfishly and independently focused but constantly balancing yourself and your desires against others. (Typically even if you live with roommates, there’s not much accountability or interdependence except to get the bills paid on time.) There are other ideas that the article mentions that were pretty insightful and I’d never considered before.

+ everything is good, hedging on great, even
+ tomorrow i leave for California, which is the kickoff to two months of over-scheduling and events-aplenty (san diego then nashville then grand rapids then boston then kansas city, plus concerts and a wedding, bridal shower and bachelorette party thrown in). i’m amped for it.

lately, i’ve felt like i’m at the brink of something–the next great page in my life. there are many options opening up and my dreams in my heart that are pushing up through the dirt of late that encourage me, that from here on out: anything is possible.

i heard a read quote the other day, that God is a gentleman. that he will open the door for you and that he wants to do that. we just have to stand on our own two feet and walk toward that door and then through it. (rather than us being lazy and expecting him to pick us up and hurl us through to the other side.) so that’s what i’m trying to do, as this prospective brink looms near: i’m trying to approach and then let him do the rest, let him perform his gentlemanly duties for whatever he has in store.

so we’ll see.

(i realize this post is quite enigmatic. and frankly, i like it that way!)

I have to say it: I’m excited about growing up. yes, I’m a ripe 24 (which would send my coworkers rolling their eyes) but I still feel like I’m just dipping my toes into the waters of adulthood. People still ask me if I’m going to be going to prom this year or where I go to high school and the like, to which I smile and tell them I graduated 7 years ago (to which my coworkers would again roll their eyes!).

But as I watch my friends shoot roots and grow up, I’m liking the pace at which I’m going. Holly’s becoming a wife, betsy’s becoming a mom and a wife… And here I am scouting out one-bedroom apartments. But taking everything one-step-at-a-time has been something I’ve had to learn to embrace, and I feel like I’m finally doing that.

In college, I was graduating in 3 years so I took 20 credits a quarter and worked another 10 hours a week writing for the alumni magazine. With no time to spare, I thrived on the function to gulp everything down and learn/ace it at once, and then move on to the next subject or exam or project. And on the cycle went—learn it as fast and completely as possible and then move on to the next task at hand. When it came time to learning about God and His will and everything, I tried to put that mentality to work there so that I could check as many things off my list as possible and move on to the next and become a super Christian “in 10 weeks or less!”

But then I’d realize how fallible that was and how I wasn’t making progress—and I’d get frustrated. I’ve had to learn over the years that God doesn’t work that way. That he does function in, “Here, I’m going to give you this bit to work on. When you’ve learned that task and had time to sit on it, I’ll give you the next bit. But this is how you truly learn and change and grow—one step at a time.” I’ve had to become OK with—and appreciative of—that aspect: One. At. A. Time. Learn this one—truly learn it, down to your bones—and then you’ll get your next one. But don’t rush through it. That’s not rich or true or deep enough for this kind of learning. It might have got you by when it came to college courses but not in the school of Life.

So that’s where I am, where I’m learning one day at a time and embracing this moment in life where I am—sorting out budgets and organizing receipts and searching out quaint little one-bedroom apartments on Craigslist that later this summer I’ll fill with funky furniture and a hodgepodge of accessories and hopefully a little kitten—and call all my own.

this past sunday kicked off a new series at church called, “peace.” (you can subscribe to eastside’s podcast and get the sermons for free; just go to iTunes Store > then search for Eastside Christian Cincinnati, and it’ll be the only one that comes up.) so, back to peace.

the one time when hitting the FWD button is a good thing
the one absolutely lovely idea that Jonathan spoke during that hour that I’ve really tried to latch onto is the idea of forwarding our worries to God. he was talking about how we get emails and there are some people who forward them on to all their friends. well he was saying that we need to be like that with the things that are stressing us out–don’t even bother opening them (the “emails”/worries) but just forward them along to God, who will open them up and deal with them appropriately. if we can just learn to forward them on to Him, then that peace that He offers will be so much more lasting and profound.

so i’ve been trying to abide by that, ever since. just when i start feeling that anxious feeling rise up, i just press the “forward email” button in my head, and just release it. interesting, because that’s something i’ve always struggled with: how to release things to God and not hold on to them. but this image of “forwarding” really strikes a chord with me.

trying is good enough
another realization of late that’s been bouncing around in my head is the idea that, you know what? i’m trying. and that’s all that matters. i’m trying when it comes to this whole snafu with paul and doing the best that i know how to do. i’m trying when it comes to reaching out to the girls at church. i’m trying when it comes to doing enough. i’m doing the best that i know how to do; i’m by no means “stubbornly resisting.” but at the same time, i’m human: so, try as i might, i’m going to mess things up. i’m destined to never get it “right” all the time. but that’s not for lack of me trying and so that doesn’t make me any less of a person.

i’ve struggled with that a lot and have finally come to terms with it, that what i’m endeavoring is enough. i have to do one thing at a time and then move on to the next–not expect to do it all here and now and be done with life at the ripe age of 25.

we watched a video on Bono once, and he talked a little bit about how his first trip to Africa was more than a decade ago, when he and his wife were still really young (maybe when they were first married?). anyway, he talked about how that one trip was merely a seed; they didn’t come back and jump right into starting charities and raising awareness–that trip percolated in their minds and then, when the time was right years later, they were able to take that seed and watch it blossom. so i just have to trust that those things will happen in my life–there’s no rush, right now. i just keep planting, and waiting.

every once and awhile, something happens that reminds me that i’m, in fact, 24 year. almost a quarter-of-a-century old. (i’m not complaining or bemoaning, it’s just that i still feel younger and greener than most 19 year olds.) today was one of those days.

i went into kroger on my lunch break to buy some stamps (to send a thank-you card). the guy working the counter had also gone to princeton and after i confirmed he was who i thought he was (i never made an effort to stay in touch with anyone from high school), he told me that the guy i’d dated through most of high school and college had gotten married recently–did i know?

actually it just passed the four-year mark of when we broke up. i think it was august 2 in 2003, and we’d been together for four years at that point. i’ve never been bitter about any of it (i’ll be the first to admit that i did enough of that while we were together) and in fact think that that–heart break–was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. it’s why i’m advocate for heartbreak; not to be miserly or anything but because i think suffering and feeling like your world’s upside down is  enlightening. i’m sure that i’m neglecting things (i read in a book once that your mind, because it has to be be selective and can’t remember everything, only chooses the extremes–the highs and lows–or your experiences and forgets the middle grounds. this could very well be the case here), but it seems that in that moment, i had my own butterfly effect and, with that one release, became a completely different person. now, at the time i was 20 and of course i would grow up in the years to come. but i really do think that that moment of “OK, then we’re done” was the catalyst for who i am today. and so i’m actually thankful that he decided he didn’t love me anymore. i feel much more at home with myself now than i ever did then.

and so when the guy told me, i asked him if he went to the wedding and he said no. i asked if he knew the “wife” (how weird is it to say that about a guy who you always thought you’d grow up and call your husband?), and he said kind of and I asked if she was nice and he said she was kinda goofy and i said good. and i mean that. i do want the best for them.

but it’s weird. it’s weird to realize that someone who i had spent nearly every day with for what was a quarter of my life, is not someone i know anything about anymore. he’s grown up, he’s made different choices and become someone totally different. i know the same is true for me, but it’s hard not to imagine him as the same 22 year old i knew back in that other life. it’s weird to think of him having the courage to ask someone else to marry him and then picking out a first-dance song and then a honeymoon and then furniture together for their first place. it’s just weird because it seems like a life so long ago.

and that’s when i realize how much i’ve grown up. that these things happen. i don’t yearn for prom or for homework or for drama or having to pick a seat in the cafeteria. but i do miss the days when anything is possible and you don’t feel like time is running out–you feel like it’s always on your side and you live forever. of course i have faith, but it’s weird to be snapped back to reality as i watch everyone else grow up and i simulanaously stand still and realize that while everyone else gets married or talks about getting married, i’m of marriage age but so far removed from it. it’s a sobering reminder. and one i’m OK with for now, but just that causes me to cock my head to one side and blink and go, “hmph,” at the curious thing before me.

don’t worry; i won’t count my way through entries for long. but this is just an attempt to say “yes, I’m still here” and “yes, I meant what I said.” i want to try at this blog thing. i suppose two days might be lofty at gauging success, but there you have it–it’s a start.

and it’s funny to think that my life could be considered a “start” right now. because i’ve been at my job now for 2.5 years. i’ve been out of college for more than three. i’ve bought a brand-new car and already paid it off. i’ve signed a lease and bought a new bed and called the cable company and water company and had to haggle them to get things done. i’ve gone on business trips by myself and introduced myself to big names (within our industry, though). i contact people and tell them i work for a magazine and i get them to give me stuff and clamor for attention. i’ve been invited to weddings without my family; i’ve been a date to weddings. some of my best friends have been the ones getting married. i’ve been teaching the teens for almost two years now–teaching! when did i outgrow being just a student and step into this role? what do *i* know?

and yet, here i am, still feeling like i’m fumbling around and still sorting all this out. by all accounts, i’m grown up. but i still feel like i’m 17. it’s a weird feeling and i was talking to my dad a few weeks ago, and he talked about how he always imagines himself back in his younger years. i’m not sure what specific year, but he said he doesn’t feel his age. i never, ever imagined i’d be like that. but here i am and always feeling puny and insignificant and unsure of myself and out-of-place.

but i want to feel grown up and full of confidence. i wonder if that’s why i try to read more and more–to try to catch up with my age. to match my wits with my calendar-year. or to solve all my problems as soon as possible to speed the aging process.

i’m not sure but sometimes i take a step back and i realize where in life i fall and i’m amazed. how did i get here? was it all a dream? i feel like i was in a trance most of the time and that’s one of the most heartening things I find about God: that it’s obvious, “in hindsight” (shout-out to Miss TLC), that he was there all along, playing puppeteer to my marionette.

today i had to give a testimony during a meeting for church members interested in serving with the youth group. i talked a little bit about how i just one day decided to try it out and didn’t really think too much about it–i just did it on a whim and without really any contemplation. our youth pastor always says, “well, pray about it and then get back to me about your decision.” now, i think that’s very good advice–i do, i do. but sometimes i think that the best decisions i’ve made are ones where i just did and didn’t question. because it’s in that questioning step that i usually am able to talk myself out of something. but volunteering for the junior high ended up being something so perfect and so amazing for me, that i had absolutely no clue and couldn’t have. i had no idea the potential it held. but here i am, with amazing girls who look up to me and who i love and who i get to share with. and i feel like that totally was a God thing–him leading and me not even realizing it at the time; just figuring, why not?

it’s interesting to look back at the path he’s paved… “and be glad in it.” i know i owe it all to him and that in itself makes me eager for the times to come because i have to trust that if he’s gone through all that trouble, all that fishing, all that cleaning off, that he’s got something worthwhile in mind–that he has big plans for me. and i know that it’s a scary thing to say that i hope he does, but i do. i know i’m a scaredy cat and will probably pull a Jonah and run off when he asks me not to, but i do want to fulfill those plans, i want to become that woman and bloom those seeds.

lately i’ve been listening to the hawk nelson song:

let’s pack up and move to california
hop on board before we get older
raise your hands and shout for california
come on, come on, come on…

i feel very much “in-between” right now. not certain of where to go next. because i love my life here, i truly do. but i can almost glimpse myself outgrowing it. but then (yes, this is a glimpse into my mental dialogue–very Gollum-esque) i wonder if it’s me not realizing what indeed i have under my nose and jumping to conclusions? like with my job: it took me awhile to realize that in fact was my dream job, sans the hefty paycheck. but for awhile i was letting the lack of money detract from everything else that was amazing about it. and i almost left it because i was looking for “the next best thing” without realizing the prize i already held.

i wonder if i’m doing that here, with “Cincinnati.” i can see changes abrewing and i can see the tides coming in. and i’m fully expecting them to wash me away and maybe i’m jumping the gun in preparation? who knows. but at this very moment, amidst the changes and growth spurts, i am quite happy.

and that’s what i welcome you to with this Premiere entry in my new, freshly painted blog with a cute little welcome mat out front. (i hope you took notice, it has a gnome on it!)

this is my little experiment into reaching into the world, tentacles and all, and hoping for the best. i was thinking about what my talents are–what is it that i love doing? one of my favorite things is what i do with the youth group, and that’s when i take the junior high girls and pull them close under my wing and make what’s meant to be a valiant effort to show them the world out there. and what i mean by that is the world that God’s created. they’re so smart and no one ever gives them enough credit for that. and so that’s what i’m trying to do; dish out everything i can so that they’re ready for everything that’s waiting for them … and that they’ll turn to God when it is. i try to make them think and make them open up and make them evaluate. and i share with them; i share what’s going on with me and the musings i’ve read and the morsels i’ve collected.

and so that’s where this blog has brought me: an opportunity to try to do more of the same, to whatever wayfaring strangers find their way to my humble (but ever so rickety) abode. hopefully they (you!) will pull up a chair, knock on the door, and i’ll pull up a chair for you. because what is life without living it? you can’t do it all on your own.

so here we are. you and me. welcome, it’s nice to have you…