even though there have been ups and downs, things have fortunately held at the “highs” for the most part. as i’ve mentioned, i’m feeling like God might have something else in store for me as for where i belong right now. i read somewhere that God is a gentleman and that he likes to hold the door open for you, it’s just a matter of you stepping up and walking through. so that’s what i’ve been up to. trying to meet Him halfway. the way i look at it is that if it’s something He wants me to do (and I do believe it is) and I’m doing what I can to reach it, then He will gladly give it–when the timing is right.

but the one thing that does make me glad through all this is that i really do feel like this is what God wants. I’ve been fortunate enough to see God at work a lot in my life (almost always in hindsight when it comes to people he put in my life or circumstances that I never would have chosen for myself or opportunities that I seemingly stumbled upon). but it’s been rare that I’ve actually felt God at work in my life. these past few months have shown me a few of those gems: when Paul and I were breaking up and I knew it was the right thing; then again when Paul and I started chatting again and I started getting hurt again, God told me when to plant a fence and give myself time to heal and then when to swing open the door and then when to work on barriers. and now with this next step. in all those, those were the times when I really felt God beside me guiding me and pointing and me being able to understand that “small, still voice.”

it’s still full of murmurs and ever-interrupted, but i want to keep hearing it and harking it, because I know it won’t lead me wrong. it’s hard to trust something that only feels like an inkling, but that’s where I think God’s gentlemanly nature comes into play. if i’s His will, He’ll see to it like he did even when Jonah ran the opposite way. God still got his way. i just want to make sure that i don’t want to run the other way. because i know that when you listen the first time around, things fall into place. that doesn’t mean they’ll be easy. but they’ll be right. and i think that when they’re right, they’ll seem easier.

at least i hope so.

p.s. i would like to introduce my friends to one another! after visiting with dear MRS elizabeth in nashville this weekend, i was reminded of this. and since i have such good taste in friends (if i do say so myself), i think you’ll all enjoy it. (see in the left-most column where it says “MEET MY FRIENDS.” there are some wise women in there!)

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