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+ everything is good, hedging on great, even
+ tomorrow i leave for California, which is the kickoff to two months of over-scheduling and events-aplenty (san diego then nashville then grand rapids then boston then kansas city, plus concerts and a wedding, bridal shower and bachelorette party thrown in). i’m amped for it.

lately, i’ve felt like i’m at the brink of something–the next great page in my life. there are many options opening up and my dreams in my heart that are pushing up through the dirt of late that encourage me, that from here on out: anything is possible.

i heard a read quote the other day, that God is a gentleman. that he will open the door for you and that he wants to do that. we just have to stand on our own two feet and walk toward that door and then through it. (rather than us being lazy and expecting him to pick us up and hurl us through to the other side.) so that’s what i’m trying to do, as this prospective brink looms near: i’m trying to approach and then let him do the rest, let him perform his gentlemanly duties for whatever he has in store.

so we’ll see.

(i realize this post is quite enigmatic. and frankly, i like it that way!)

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life has been good lately. yes, there have been blips that have challenged that but more and more those dips and ebbs haven’t been nearly as lasting or as crippling as they once were. instead, there’s more peace and joy and fulfillment.

i can barely sit still long enough to type anything in here. which is why instead of droning on and on, i’m just going to leave you with this song that has been keeping me company the last few days. it could not be any happier and i totally want to hang out with these guys:


“the best in me” by sherwood

 you probably should know by now one of my favorite books is Tara Leigh Cobble’s “Here’s to Hindsight.” i’m not one to read (or watch, for that matter) anything twice. on the rare occasion that i do, that says something. and H2H is one that i think i will probably reread every couple of months, just because it speaks so loudly and directly to me. well, let the love continue; here’s something she just posted on her blog:

We all do it. We take a perfectly good wound — one intended to teach us something, to grow us closer to God — and we try to cover it up with an ill-fitting bandage. Sometimes we act in desperation, grabbing dirty napkins from the ground just to have something to put over the wound so we don’t have to see it, so we don’t have to be reminded that it’s still there.

We do it for our friends, too. We say and do the wrong things to help them move on from their own pain, we speak and act without thinking or praying first. Maybe we just want the pain to be over for them, or maybe we don’t want to look at their wounds because those wounds disturb us.

This past weekend, I was a leader and guest musician at a women’s conference for nearly 200 women of all ages. The women moved me with stories of their healing, their pain, their mistakes. They’ve wasted time (haven’t we all!?!) trying to cover up the pain through improper relationships, eating or drinking too much, looking at porn, and even having children. They’ve felt the pain of losing husbands who have tried to heal their own wounds in the wrong ways, as well.

It reminds me to ask myself what I’m doing to push past my own pain (or the pain of others), to create the illusion of healing without actually giving the wound time to breathe and heal. The more we apply the wrong bandages, the more we delay the process by refusing to put the pain in God’s capable hands.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

i recently finished reading a modern-day nun’s memoir “forever and ever, amen.” it’s quite admirable the things she learns when she enters right out of high school and how open-armed the convent is, to this girl who sneaks in vodka-injected oranges and who was admittedly wild and unruly. the girls enter green and the convent allows them to pursue God and get to know him; through things like obedience, seeing God in everyone–especially their enemies, fighting for injustice, sharing, sisterhood, supporting one another even when you don’t  agree with them, knowing when to bend the rules when another sister needs it for camaraderie, wisdom, silence, prayer, solitude…

things that i know i must learn, and many of them exemplified by the older Sisters that the author admired most. i too want to learn those things. because they’re so poignant. and because i know that upon learning them, they can change my life.

she writes, at one point, “it was the everyday blessings that ripened me the most.” as i think i mentioned (but perhaps i didn’t) i was reading an article about dating and how God works through ordinary means. this sentence reminded me of that. and to learn to see God in everything–the big as well as the small. it’s so easy to see him in the big, where it’s undeniable. but to see His handiwork in the small and subtle seems to be reflective of an atuned spirit. i don’t want to forget or neglect or underappreciate all he does for me. or ever feel like i can do all this on my own. i want to be sure to appreciate all he’s given me.

i’m beginning to think about my tattoo and it bearing the word: “blessed.” because isn’t it so? isn’t it so terribly so?

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