“oh where, oh where has my little blog gone, oh where oh where can it be?”

As it turns out, there just hasn’t seemed much urge to spill words out online as of late. I think it’s because everything is settling down and smoothing out and that is so relaxing and comforting and calming. There’s not a sense of urgency anymore or a sense of needing understanding. Instead, what I have now is enough. And to be able to say that—is quite a relief.

I’ve been busy planning the beginning of my spring. This week is another party, this time 80s/90s-inspired. I’m going as Angela Chase from “My So-Called Life,” my roommate is going as Rainbow Brite, some guys are coming as Wayne and Garth from “Wayne’s World,” others are coming in full retro regalia—leggings, side ponytails, off-the-shoulder shirts, Madonna, Mario, etc. it should be pretty entertaining. As they always are.

I’m not really sure why I love parties so much except that they’re an occasion to let down walls and embrace the inner goof and charm that floats within us all, but that we often learn to hush. The other week, I was talking to Betsy’s soon-to-be-step-son who’s four and asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up. He didn’t look up, didn’t get excited, but answered matter-of-factly: “A hero.” he told me that he’s going to have a mask and a cape and he’s going to be a super hero. Just like that.

Where did that urge to be something bigger than ourselves go? True, many of us cling to it and keep persevering. But even moreso, many let go of those big, colorful dreams and start slipping into the belief that “this” is all we have or “this” is all we’ll ever amount to. It’s a dismal change.

And not that I think silly theme parties are going to restore dreams or a sense of self by any means. But they do allow us to take ourselves less seriously. To just enjoy the moment and the silly daydreams of being a TV star or a retro starlet and not care what everyone else thinks or expects. And, to dance our hearts out.

“To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak” — indian proverb