…heartened, even.

two weekends ago, i got free tickets from my coworker to go to kings island. it was the last weekend the amusement park would be open (labor day weekend), and so we needed to use them before the place closed up shop and all the kiddie fun melted with the season.

with friends Bee and Holly in tow, we took off for the roller-coasters and ice-cream and water rides and pizza-at-picnic-tables. we got sloshed around on the rides, rode seperately on some of them, and threw our hands up in the air on others. sometimes we got off claiming headaches and others we got off exhilerated that there were times when we just knew we were this close to flying off the track because we were going so fast.

and so it is with my life–always riding that rollercoaster. it feels bumpy sometimes and anxious and scary. but right now i’m climbing up that hill, the track is clicking as it’s reaching the apex, and here i am looking out over the park with a bird’s eye view. i’m heartened.

the reason for all this?

as i mentioned before, i feel like i’ve been really distracted as of late, like time has been slipping away from me. they are welcome, of course, but what i realized this morning was that the anxieties i’ve felt, the worries, the jitters–there’s a reason for them. and that’s because in my distraction, i’ve pulled away, diverted my eyes from, that which always brings peace. i’ve let my relationship with God take a bit of a back-burner. and of course it hasn’t been all that long–days only, really–but long enough for me to see the impact that it has. and i realize that when i’m close to God is when i feel like i can trust the world around me and the situations He’s placed me in so perfectly.

i was reminded the other day of this:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.
Jeremiah 29: 11-14

there’s also a relient k song where they talk about “it’s my trademark move, to turn my back on you. to realize i should improve. and sometime soon after that, you’ll see me come crawling back.”

so here i am, realizing it’s time to crawl back and to find the peace that makes me realize how beautiful and exhilerating (rather than scary and anxious) the view is at the top of this “amazing” rollercoaster ride. yes, i’m heartened.


(it’s a picture from another girl’s blog that i read, and that seemed quite fitting)